A beautiful God and a beautiful ministry part 1

May 31, 2010 Suzie

So this weekend I went with my beautiful friend and mentor to a YWAM Disciplieship Training Weekend in Nuneaton to see what God has in store for me. To put it simply, it was an incredible weekend. but i’d like to share more of what happened this weekend if you’d like to know?

Then I’ll begin…;-)

So I went with no agendas but willing just to follow God and see the next little step. On the weekend there were 6 of us, me any my friend and 4 older ladies. All in completely different places but all willing to seek God for future direction. At the beginning of the weekend each of us were given a programme which on it had a verse that the Staff had prayed for us individually. Mine was Romans 1 v 16,
I am not ashamed of the Gospel because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the Gentiles. For in the gospel a righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: “The righteous will live by faith”.

So friday night we arrived and the first talk we looked briefly at the disciples. Seeing how radically obedient they are in following Jesus.

That night I felt God say, ‘I haven’t called you to a life of convenience but a life of obedience’. Wow! What a start! So was looking at what are my priorities and what am I willing to give up in order to follow Him?
In our small group that night I was with two ladies who have been Christians a while but both radically changed by Jesus not having grown up in Christian homes. The Staff in our group put out a load of pictures cut out on the table and told us to pick those that reflected where we’re at with God. I found it really hard. I described it as not really knowing where I was at with Him but wanted head knolwedge to become heart knowledge and I didnt want to wait til a possible DTS for that to happen!
That night I also felt God nudge me that He wanted a season of me knowing what it means to know Him as my Abba Father, as my daddy. In  a way I never have before, but I didn’t really know any more.
This was my prayer that night,
‘God I want to know You as Father, to know You intimately like a daddy knows their daughter. I’m your little girl. I want to know that in my heart. I want to run into Your open arms. Show me God, how to be Your daughter. I want to learn how to sit in Your presence, to know I am loved and precious to You. Begin to do that, please Lord, this weekend. I long for it. I love You Lord.’

SO the next morning in group devotions as we shared scripture I could feel my spirit rise, refreshed even. I haven’t been to His Word for too long. It was beautiful. I went to my time with God and He led me to Romans 8 v 14. …the Spirit of sonship. And by Him we cry, ‘Abba, Father’. So I asked Him, what does it mean? What does it mean for me to be a co-heir of Christ and He prompted me to look at Ephesians 1. Spiritual blessings in Christ. Wow. Take a read. It is just mind blowing!

Then we spent time looking in the WOrd and the nature and character of God. He wants us to know Him not just in our heads but in our hearts. (Speaking already!) Then time spent looking at hearing God’s voice and my first reaction was ‘I don’t hear His voice, I don’t hear Him speak to me’ but i had to consciously get rid of those lies and say God, how do you speak to me? How can I hear your voice? And I just knew that a big way is through His Word, He’s given me such a love for it and through others and through my spirit, e.g being excited, ‘just knowing’.

So that afternoon I met up with Myra, a staff member and just shared with her my heart and talked about DTS. Said that I feel God is giving me a real heart for justice but she didn’t know too much about that particular area  so she prayed with me that God would put the right people in my life to show me what God has for me. She had a picture for me, of a magnifying glass. That God is reveal things to me, almost lifting them up from the page. Scripture, etc. Exciting!

So I went away from there not knowing much more but again just willing to trust Him and His perfect timing. That night one of the Staff, an incredible, beautiful man of God who is an evangelist in Brussels was talking about mission and God’s plan is salvation for all people and we have a part to play. Jesus has a passion that is just so great, it took Him to the cross! Do i have a passion for the lost?
A few things he said that struck a chord…
Be the change I want to see in the World.
Be the message not just have the message
We are the only Bible non-christians read!!!

So what am I afraid of when I don’t share the gospel. We were asked this question and suggested that we spent some timw asking God what our fears are, what is holding back. I was emotional. He encouraged us to go and pray with a staff about this fear so I went to talk to a lady who had just arrived from South africa going to be talking to us the next morning. I told her that I kept thinking about that verse, I didn’t want to be ashamed of the gopsel. I was scared that if someone looked at my life, would they see that I totally believe the gospel, is my life shaped by the gospel? As I was talking it all through God was confirming it in me and convicting me that I DO BELIEVE it. And I want to live my life. But she reminded me the gospel isn’t an it but a HE. YES! As she prayed she said, ‘I just want to be a witness to whatever is happenign here, its beautiful’. He was doing something in me. I began to feel excited about where God has placed me to share the gospel. She just encouraged me of what she felt about my heart and gave me some scripture. After praying, she asked me what I’m doing, where I want to go etc and I said I felt God had given me a real heart for justice. She looked and smiled and said ‘ooh thats interesting. I know about Justice and YWAM. I have contacts’ (!!!) So she gave me some links and began to talk about South Africa and a project that has been set up where there is a safehouse and inside me God was doing something, excitement bubbling up within me. Was God speaking? I think so! Wow.
As I shared it with my mentor after all of this and she felt that this was the Lord and just spoke what was in her heart for me. She felt that this was big, that God has big things for me that are going to involve rescuing from life and death situations for those I come to meet. Something in me felt like this is crazy but yes, i think you’re right. Woah!

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