Spirit and truth

May 2, 2010 Suzie

I love how God works. It’s beautiful.

Only on thursday I wrote in my blog about not really letting the Holy Spirit in.
On Monday til Wednesday I was taken by my church to Ground level leaders conference. It was such a priviliege to be asked to go and it was a really special few days.

On the monday there was some really good teaching and worship but again I felt like something within me was holding back and it was really hard. I was brought up in a church where the Bible was faithfully taught but personally, i didn’t feel like the Holy Spirit was a reality and in some ways it scared me. But i wanted to go deeper.

My amazing friend and mentor text me to see how i was getting on and i told her I felt like something wasn’t quite right so she prayed for me, got me to explain via text what was happening and she sent me some encouraging words…

first text…’…i think it’s an important part of where God is taking you. It’s almost like the breaking off of an old mind set. Get humble before God on it and that can cost. Be prepared to step out of your comfort zone. For greater freedom and intimacy with God. I’m cheering for you.’

So it got me thinking that a big part of it was me and self consciousness and just stubbornness I guess.

Then she sent me a few quotes from the book we’re going through in our connect group, SHAPE book.
”The more we get what we now call ‘ourselves ‘ out of the way and let Him take over, the more truly ourselves we become’
‘the absolute surrender my everything into His hands is necessary. If our hearts are willing for that, there is no limit to what God will do for us or to the blessing He will bestow’

Wow! So before going into the meeting on tuesday night, I took 5 minutes with God and just prayed and said, Lord do with me what you want. i want to meet with You. Let me meet you tonight.
So I went in and we had a really great meeting talking about the kind of leaders we should be and also looking at the part in the Bible where the Lord says to Joshua, ‘Moses my servant is dead’ and Joshua takes over and has to get his feet wet. We were challenged to let the ‘Moses’ in us die and the Joshua in us to rise up. How fitting with putting off the old mindset. I went forward at the call (not something i would usually do).

For the first time in Worship, I felt what it was to be one with God. My hands were lifted before my King and My Lord in a way they never had been. My heart was abandoned to His praise, I even clapped my King in praise and wonder. But it wasn’t about the actions, it was my heart. The actions were the overflow of my heart. Wow

So i went forward at the call and I couldn’t do anything but get on my knees as the tears came down and I knelt in awe of all my saviour as done for me and the call on my life to carry Jesus and get my feet wet. Then and there I said to the Lord, whatever you want, I want. More of you Jesus. I prayed for a greater hunger of Spirit and Truth combined. (There was a real sense of prophecy over the conference regarding being one in Spirit and Truth).

I cam out of that meeting having met with God, having experienced the Holy Spirit. It was beautiful. As we sat in the bar after, there was such a sense of peace, of joy as we all hummed to ourselves, ‘lifting you high, higher and higher’. Precious moments. I’m no longer the same person.

As I went back to my room, I couldn’t help but get my Bible and read despite the time. He was giving me the hunger. I read Isaiah chapter 1. Woah!

What a challenge right there. God tells the Israelites He doesn’t want their prayers and praise but their hearts. He wants them to seek justice. Right there, I felt the Lord say to my heart, ‘We needed tonight, tonight was good. You needed to experience me but a life of that isn’t what I’ve called you to. Seek justice’

This fits so perfectly with the way I feel God has laid DTS and justice on my heart. he really has. He is showing me that in my life I am to pursue Him and pursue justice. What a calling. But over the last few days He’s challenged me again that I don’t need to wait til DTS time but begin to seek justice now and by that I have to be in tune with His Spirit. I want to walk in step with His Spirit, following His lead. I want to follow Him.

So, I am seeking to be a woman of God who is founded in Spirit and Truth. What a challenge but what a privilege. I am called to step into the water and follow Him. Thank you Jesus.

This morning at church, a visiting guy spoke about the presence of God. We have to experience it and then we carry it. I want to experience more of God’s presence and not in a building on a sunday morning but wherever I am. I want to know God with me in such a real and tangible way. I want to carry the presence of God in a way that honours Him. That will be only done through keeping Spirit and Truth the foundations of my life.


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2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. inrelentlesspursuitoftruth  |  May 2, 2010 at 3:26 pm

    This is amazinggggggg honey! I feel like He is refining you to carry His glory and presence to the nations.

  • 2. Michelle  |  May 6, 2010 at 1:30 am

    You have such a pure heart. I really see that, Suz. Even though you talked about wanting to get rid of different things in your heart that kept you back from Him, from the Holy Spirit… it will be no problem to dismantle those things because your heart is so pure. So devoted. You remind me of Ruth… who left her own family, her own kin.. to follow Naomi. Following her mother-in-law, Naomi, made NO sense… according to culture or customs or any “advice” that anyone would have given her. But she did it. Because she knew it was right.

    Following Naomi led Ruth to where God wanted her to be. And it’s like… for you… you following this cry for JUSTICE… is going to be like your Naomi.

    Have you ever heard of International Justice Mission? A woman who works for them spoke at my DTS and it so touched me. If you have a heart for justice, I highly recommend any books by Gary Haugen (the founder of International Justice Mission).

    God bless you and I love you!

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