March 16, 2009 Suzie

I’ve just been to CU and i wanted to share this with you straight away before I lose the wonder of it.

Tonights talk was hard! We were looking at the book of James chapter 4v11-5v6. If you’ve never read James, I encourage you to but be prepared to take the punches! It’s easy to think as many have that James is teeling us how not to live and how to do things better. I made this mistake too. We think he’s saying, you should live like this or live like that but through studying at CU i have seen that isnt the case.

James is telling us how sinful we are..wretched sinners. We in these chapters, judge others, talk about others but who are we to judge? We do the same things, this is a big sin of mine and recently God has been showing me this. I am so judgemental but I dont have the right to be. I am no better! I am a wretched sinner! We talk about people behind their back.
The next bit goes on to talk about making plans and this is a HUGE on for me right biw. We so often make plans as to what we want to do, where we want to go but do we consider God in this? James isnt saying it is wrong to make plans but if God is not in the agenda then of course its wrong. Steve asked the question, ‘when planning, do you think of how you are going to be more godly in 5 years?’ ouch! no way do i do it. But why not?!

The next part goes on to talk about wealth and it links in so well with the bit before. They have made plans to live for themselves, to gain all the wealth they can and live happily (at the expense of the servants!!!). But James creates a nightmare of a picture! Their welath is rotting, corroding away, eating away. What was the point of their welath? What did it gain them? NOthing?
So often our plans are all about us, what job we want so we can get lots of money, so we can live comfortably. at whose expense? I felt like i’d been punched in the stomach! What am i living for? Wealth?

I think the honest answer is no i’m not but theres something i am struggling with that i’d like to share with you. For my gap year two years ago I went to Brazil and for a very short part of that I worked with street kids and loved it. Ever since i’ve wanted to go back. Recently i’ve been struggling with thinking about the future. Should i be at uni? Should i go abroad long term? I prayed and talked to my dad and we decided it would be good to stay at uni but look at opportunities for after. I had a look on a website ansd there was an advert for summer trip, 3 weeks to Brazil. My heart jumped! It sounds perfect! Then theres the money issue! … I’m at uni, only just getting by but my heart wants to go so badly…when speaking to people they have said that they dont think i can go becuase of money, its just not practical. I get that, I do but that means working the whole summer for money, for the wealth to get by at uni. Then a verse came up on the calendar next to my bed yesterday saying, ‘My Father will give you whatever you ask in my name’, could be a total coincidence.
I just dont know what to do. i am praying but i dont see a way. please pray with me that God would make it clear what I am to do…

That was a bit of a tangent, sorry!  Back to the point…I felt so strongly that I just needed to pray so I came back straight away after CU and spent some time praying. I felt God wanted me to opray that I would seek him, that I would devote myself to Him and I prayed some pretty strong words. It was a fight to pray them but i strongly felt i needed to. I prayed that I would give myself to God and commit my life to Him, wherever he wants me to go and even if he calls me to be single. this is pretty huge. I did pray however that if God did chose to bless me with a husband one day, it would be someone so passionate for Jesus, someone who wanted to give their lives completely to God to. Just because I prayed these words doesnt mean its magic and its not gonna be hard but Ive got to keep praying that god would help me live for Him, give myself to Him.

MAybe its time you did the same…maybe its time you started living how God wants you to live. We are called to love Him with all our mind, body, soul and heart..that is quite an ask. But maybe it should start with the small steps and alllowing God to work in us, to change us into who he wants us to be.


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2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. watcat  |  March 17, 2009 at 12:43 am

    Hi this blog is great I will be recommending it to friends.

  • 2. gabi  |  March 21, 2009 at 4:25 pm

    Ah I’m SO sorry. I thought I’d commented on this already. SO sorry, honey! I just wanted to say He can move ANY size mountain! I had no money whatsoever, I now have almost $2,000! He can EASILY provide any amount you need. I promise you nothing is too much to expect of Him!

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