He’s teaching me so much…

March 5, 2009 Suzie

Goodness, I actually don’t know where to start. God is teaching me so much and I haven’t written for so long! I have wanted to write for so long and as yet I haven’t been able to but a friend encouarged me tonight to let Him do the speaking and thats something He’s teaching me…

This evening I went to my home group and it was different. I’m not totally sure why but i felt like i belonged and like I’m going to grow; that together we are goign to grow. For a few weeks we were sharing testimonies and talking of what God has done in our lives, who has encouraged us on the way and how god has spoken to us. Its been an exciting time. Tonight it was the guys time. two of the guys in the group who i see as the leaders shared their stories and they were pretty incredible. There were some things I just wasn’t expecting and they really took me by surprise but one guy, such a great goldy guy kept mentioning how God had told him this or told him that so at the end i asked him, what do you mean, he talks to you?

I dont mean that i dont think God talks to people, i just love hearing how He speaks differently to people and its one thing i struggle with, hearing God, knowing its God speaking to me. he said how it has taken time to grow but he waits on God, listening to Him. As i was listening i was seeing a real relationship.

One of the girls, one of the pastors wives, asked why i asked which was a bit scary. i had to be honest and i dont always like being! I explained that i wanted to know God speaking to me. recently i have felt such a strong desire on my heart to have a relationship with God. Not just pray and read the Bible but to really have an intimate relationship. The girl asked if she could pray for me, they all did and we prayed that togetehr we would grow as a group but you know what? It was kindan scary. like God wants to oush me out of my comfort zone. hes doing this a lot lately anyway, especially being a leader of CU but i’ll come back to that.

i feel that this is a beginnign of a new journey with God, one of getting to know Him, to share with Him, give Him my heart and i’m scared, im nervous.. i dont really like giving away my heart but i am learning that God is so good, so so so good and that He is more than enough for me. I feel that this may be a time of waiting on God and i encouarge you to do the same.

I have been thinking a lot about the gospel recently, really thinking about it. And i think thats what its about. God created Adam and Eve to nkow Him, to have a real relationship with them. He wanted to know them and be known by them but sin came. That relationship was broken and thats why Jesus died. To bring us back into a relationship with Him. We had a lunch bar today…a guy gave a talk on suffering and God and someone asked a question about if we give our lives to jesus and then decide to live our lives our own way, are we still forgiven but i guess my question is, why not? God wants so passionately to have a relationship with him. Just look at the story of Hosea but its so much more then sayign sorry to Him. Its giving our hearts and our lives to Him, walking with Him and thats what i want. I am so far away from this right now but thats waht my heart desires. And thats what my heart desires for you and for the people of this campus that God has called me to serve in.


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7 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Anthony  |  March 5, 2009 at 12:18 pm

    Thank you Suzi 🙂 I’m going to read this all the time and watch for updates 🙂

  • 2. gabi  |  March 5, 2009 at 1:21 pm

    I’m SO glad you decided to write!
    I just got this picture as I read this, that He is wooing you back to a deeper place of intimacy. Exactly as you said, like in Hosea. I feel like you’ve just come out of one season and you’ve entered in a new season. Even this week you’ve stepped into a new place in Him. He calls you even deeper, girl. Stay before Him. Lie down with Him and then stand up and share the secrets of His hearts with those He has given you to lead. Hope that makes sense!
    Love you!

  • 3. Michelle  |  March 10, 2009 at 3:42 am

    I loved reading this! You have a heart that is so real and so honest. I love how you went up that guy, after he was sharing, and asked him about hearing from God… you didn’t allow satan to hold you back through fear or any of his other tactics, but you went for it because you want to grow in that area.

    Yes, it’s rough being pulled out of our comfort zones, eh? But you are in for the ride of your life! God has SUCH great things in store for you! I can’t wait to read more, so keep sharing with us, alright?

    Love you, girl!

  • 4. Hannah  |  March 14, 2009 at 3:57 pm

    Hi Suzie,
    I’m sure God has been talking to you, otherwise you wouldn’t have written half the stuff you ever have on this blog! You probably just haven’t grown used to acknowledging that it’s His voice you’re hearing yet. His Spirit is in you, His Word is in your heart, and His voice speaks to you with new words and stirs old ones… but you’re hearing His voice.
    The phrase “await on the Lord” is just so wonderful. Do it!!

    Send me your address at uni! I’m going to order you a CD by Jarrod Cooper that a friend introduced me to when I was at uni myself (so it’s a bit old now!). Or do you know him already?They’re mainly not general worship songs, but more personal one-to-one songs, that really helped me to draw nearer to God in a personal relationship. I had it as a cassette, which hasn’t surfaced since our penultimate move, but I still often sing several of the songs through. One of the beautiful songs, Lover’s Fire, has words to this effect (read it as God speaking to you):

    “Come aside and pray,
    For a while won’t you stay?
    We can walk in the cool of the day.
    We could sit holding hands,
    Dreaming dreams, making plans,
    Talk of nothing, sometimes plans get in the way.

    I want to see your face
    To tell you of my grace.
    I love to see you smile
    And linger just a while in warm embrace.
    I love to hear you sing
    The tales of where we’ve been,
    Taking time to remember
    So our love is not an ember
    But a lover’s raging fire.

    Yes, I’m a warrior, but a friend,
    Your Father to the end
    I’m your lover, your husband, your life.
    Though I’m fearfully holy,
    My blood has made you worthy,
    So come close my bride, my wife.

    I want to see your face…

    Every time that you fear me,
    Or feel guilty, you don’t come near me,
    Your consience keeps you away.
    But realise by faith, that you’re holy in my grace
    I accept you, I love you, you’re …… [sorry, forgotten!],
    I can change you as long as you’re near.

    I want to see your face….”

    So beautiful, and a real encouragement/reminder that God wants quality time with us, beneficial to both, not just a fleeting prayer every now and again. Or even more than lots of prayers all day. He wants a conversation. He wants a time of “just being” with each other. Loving each other, absorbing each other. Try just being, just “awaiting on Him”. You’ll both love it!!!

    Hope to see you in the summer when I’m over!

    Lots of love as always,
    Hannah xx

  • 5. Hannah  |  March 14, 2009 at 4:03 pm

    While looking up if you can still get the album, I came across a web page where you can play that song for free! It’s:

    Another gorgeous one compares a sparrow’s flight to that of an eagle soaring high, & how we should rest on His eagle’s wings. That one’s also still sung here often!! So I’ll have to get you the CD anyway… ;-). But I’ll look next week seeing as you’ve got that link because I have to dash now really… Love, H xx

  • 6. inrelentlesspursuitoftruth  |  March 17, 2009 at 2:42 pm

    Hey Suz, if you get that CD, make me a copy? 😉 it sounds AMAZING!

  • 7. Hannah  |  March 18, 2009 at 5:57 am

    Hi again Suzie, it’s the Hannah that’s your cousin by the way….! Send the address via Facebook if you prefer… but SEND IT! 😉 H xxxxxx

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